random thoughts on turning 40 tomorrow

~two decades ago i turned twenty wearing a red laura ashley sailor dress and long hair.  today my hair is shorter, layered, and showing some silver strands.  my housewifey wardrobe consists of cropped yoga pants and hoodies.  i confess though that i miss those pretty, feminine laura ashley dresses of the ‘90s.

~two decades ago, my mortal fear was that i would never get married.  today i am scared silly of developing jowls and a turkey neck.

~i still feel very much like a kid.  when my husband asked me what i wanted to do to celebrate my big day, i said  i wanted to go fly a kite.   i don’t feel any different turning 40 than i did turning 16, also wearing a laura ashley dress.  the first one i ever owned.   i still have it.   it is in the bottom of my cedar chest, tucked underneath the red sailor dress.  i’ve never been able to give them up.

~my husband suggested i whip out the sailor dress and put it on for old time’s sake, but….i’ve grown since.

~speaking of apparel, i still love the same sneakers and ballet flats of the laura ashley decade.  i will celebrate the arrival of middle age( ish)wearing floweredy sneakers.

~in the same cedar chest, to the side of the laura ashley dresses, lie  a stuffed teddy and three unused rolls of beatrix potter nursery wall paper.  life doesn’t always pan out the way you expect.  i thought by this time in our lives my husband and i would  have a busy household with lots of little people underfoot.  we don’t.  instead, our home and weekends are very quiet.  although this change has been an adjustment for both of us, we’ve come to value the quiet. life together is very rich.  if one looks for it, every cloud has a silver lining.

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4 Comments to “random thoughts on turning 40 tomorrow”

  1. Happy belated birthday! I can identify to still feeling like a kid on the inside. I turned 38 a week ago. In my mind I am still 23.

  2. Late birthday wishes. Your last paragraph is very beautiful. Bravo to you.

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